Teaching in the Home
as taught in the April 2010 General Conference
of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

The comments in italics are strictly my own and are intended to invite thought and discussion.
Please send your comments to Joyce Kinmont, joyce@ldshea.org


Help Them on Their WayHome
Pesident Henry B. Eyring
of the First Presidency

President Eyring began this conference address by saying:

I speak today of young people already within His true Church and so are started on the strait and narrow way to return to their heavenly home. He wants them to gain early the spiritual strength to stay on the path. And He needs our help to get them back to the path quickly should they begin to wander.

This talk is about helping our children gain early spiritual strength, something homeschoolers are already good at, but we can be much better.

Elder Eyring said:
I was a young bishop when I began to see clearly why the Lord wants us to strengthen children when they are young and rescue them quickly.

I'm an elderly grandma with plenty of experience, but I did not see as clearly before as I do since studying this talk.  The reality here is that while our strong youth are becoming stronger we are also losing others of our youth in droves.  Many adults are in denial, but the facts and the concerns of our leaders tell the story.  Certainly it is more efficient and effective for us to work harder to strengthen our young children and rescue them quickly.

Rescue
"Rescue" is an interesting word.  I don't remember hearing it used until these last few years, maybe starting with Sister Julie Beck.  A quick search on the Church website showed that President Monson has been the main user of the word in the past couple of decades, although he didn't use it often.  Lately we have heard the word frequently.  President Monson's newly announced biography is entitled, To The Rescue
.
President Eyring told a story to illustrate how much more difficult repentance and the return to the Lord's path is after someone has been engaged in years of wandering (you'll find it when you read the whole talk).  He also said members "can expect a nearly continuous opportunity to help travelers among God's children."

For parents of young children, President Eyring's sobering and delightful message is:

Our most important and powerful assignments are in the family. They are important because the family has the opportunity at the start of a child's life to put feet firmly on the path home. Parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts and uncles are made more powerful guides and rescuers by the bonds of love that are the very nature of a family.

The family has an advantage in the first eight years of a child's life.  In those protected years, because of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, Satan's use of the mists of darkness to hide the path to return home is blocked.

The Family Advantage is happy news for homeschoolers who already have their young children close, but it is sad to watch so many children being separated from family and sent into the dark mists at early ages.  How well are they protected? 

On our website we used to have a page with the term "The Protected Years" as a heading.  I took it down because I felt presumptuous, having made up the term myself - or at least I thought I had.  I can put the page back up now that President Eyring has told us, with the highest authority on earth, that in the first eight years the Atonement blocks Satan from using mists of darkness to destroy our children.

I admit that I don't know what that means.  How does the Atonement block Satan?  How are the children protected?  Are there unseen legions standing guard?  Hopefully that is part of it.

But . . . . we are told that in the Millennium Satan will be bound by our righteousness.  Doesn't that mean, then, that the binding of the Devil is largely our work?

Is this also true, then, with the protection of our little ones?  Is it in some part, large or small, by our work that our little ones are protected?  And if so, has the Lord set up certain processes to facilitate that work?

Baby-Birth
One protective process within the family structure might be biological -- the forming of our bodies within the body of our mothers.  Only Adam and Eve, who must have parents somewhere, came to the earth as adults.  Would we want that system?  If an adult showed up at your door today and said, "Hi, I'm assigned to your family," how would you feel?

The baby-birth plan is a wonderous system.  It is arranged so that every child is assured of having someone on the earth - at least a mother, hopefully a father, and, maybe even a whole family of folks who are biologically connected and will answer the new arrival's cries and mentor him into adulthood.

To make baby-birth possible, babies have to be born small, which makes them helpless and initiates protective feelings in parental hearts.  As a bonus, most babies are extremely cute.  If not, the parents never know -- every mother thinks her baby is beautiful.  Maybe that's a pre-programmed reaction as well.

The baby-birth system also pushes parents to develop the ability to love and serve and sacrifice, and it provides good practice in leadership and teaching and problem solving.

The Protected Years
After studying this talk, I have to think that we have not respected the early years as we should, both individually and as a culture.  We need to raise children the way most people attend college.  We usually think of college as a set-apart, four-or-more years time of intense focus, hard work, insufficient sleep, and great expense.  We expect a successful college experience to bring a big pay-off in quality-of-life and financial remuneration, so we value the hard work enough to pay that price.  The Protected Years also require intense focus, hard work, and insufficient sleep, although after the initial investment the expense can be much less.  The pay-off on the Protected Years brings a far greater return in quality-of-life and financial success, and in family happiness and eternal prospects.

If Satan can't work on little children directly, he certainly can spread his dark mists over the adults.  One way he does that is by putting into the culture a belief that young children need more separation from their parents.  Our culture has turned "academic."  Led by the voices of "experts," we are fooled into thinking early enrollment in sports and schools are good for children.  We believe professionals over prophets and revelation.

Preschool is a good example.  In my lifetime pre-school has gone from a rarity to a cultural imperative.  Prophets saw the trend and spoke against it in the '70's, but the Saints didn't listen and the matter seems to have been dropped.  Nearly all mothers today think -- without real evidence -- that preschool is necessary for their children.  Satan is very good at what he does.

Here is President Benson's counsel:

It is a fundamental truth that the responsibilities of motherhood cannot be successfully delegated. No, not to day-care centers, not to schools, not to nurseries, not to babysitters.

We become enamored with men's theories such as the idea of preschool training outside the home for young children. Not only does this put added pressure on the budget, but it places young children in an environment away from mother's influence. -- Ezra Taft Benson, "The Honored Place of Woman," -  Ensign, Nov 1981, 104

Seventh-day Adventist educators Dorothy and Raymond Moore were lonely but strong voices in this wilderness.  Their first book on the subject, Better Late Than Early, was so mocked by the profession that they rewrote it in professional jargon under the title School Can Wait.  The book was originally published by BYU.  Both books can be found used on line.

A reviewer of Better Late Than Early, which is one of my favorite books, wrote: 

Raymond & Dorothy Moore spent years investigating the results of early education. They examined other studies and did their own studies. They found that in the early years, up to somewhere around ages 8 to 10, it is best for children to be at home in a loving and supportive environment. They found that children who are kept home until they are ready for school quickly catch up with the early starters.

One of the main points is children can't effectively learn until they are developmentally ready. The book explores readiness issues dealing with eye sight, hearing, coordination, ability to focus, emotional stability, and others. Once children have hit a certain level, then their ability to learn is amazing. The book explores some of the problems that can happen when a child is forced to learn before they are ready.

Another main point in the book is how the home is the best place for young children. It is acknowledged that in some situations, like a working single parent, a child may need to be put in preschool, but that the optimal environment is a home where the child feels secure and is free to develop at his own pace. They are free to make mistakes without 25 other students making fun of them. They feel loved. One of the problems with sending children off to preschool is how many of them feel rejected by their parents.

Parents can actually see what their children are learning in preschool, but they can't see what is missed.  The first eight years are not the time for formal academic learning but for building the foundation upon which academic work will later rest.

In those early years every child will develop character, a work ethic, social behaviors, and faith of some kind.  The quality of these traits depends on the quality of his environment and his teachers.  Home is the best environment and parents are the best teachers, especially parents who follow the council President Eyring gave later in this talk.

There is also much for parents to actually see in early sports -- expensive uniforms, kids being cheered and having fun.  But are the kids strutting around in expensive uniforms learning the right things? How do we know that playing catch with dad and the family in the back yard is not more valuable than formal sports programs?

I'm not suggesting any hard and fast rules about early separations.  Children will engage in explorations on their own, coming back to home base when they need to.  Parents may need to nudge a bit in some situations.  Sometimes , but I do think parents should carefully evaluate each situation:  Will this activity teach the things that my child really needs to learn in these early years?  Does it expose him to the mists of darkness that he is to be protected from? Will it strengthen or weaken the bonds that hold him to me?  Does it place his feet firmly on the path home?

In writing here I've gone beyond where President Eyring has gone -- being presumptuous again -- and I will finish the thought by saying that in my opinion when parents allow the dark mists access to their children, or when parents purposely send their children into situations where the Lord does not want them to be, they may by responsible for weakening the very bond of which President Eyring has spoken.  They may be breaking a sacred trust.  They may be acting against the Divine Will and Purpose.

"The family has the opportunity at the start of a child's life to put feet firmly on the path."  Parents should value every minute of those Protected Years, giving their energy to the development of faith so deep and bonds so strong that nothing Satan has can break the connection.

Our Youth
Now we come to the teenagers.  As homeschoolers we want to be self-reliant, low-maintenance families.  We welcome the enriching influence and leadership training provided for our teens by church programs and leaders, and we hope not to need rescue efforts.  We even hope to be part of the rescue team for other travelers.

The reality, however, is that most of our children will become involved in the teenage culture.   "Teenage" is a recent cultural aberration which certainly must be a creation of Satan's.  It encourages self-indulgence and keeps our youth occupied in superficial activities away from church and family.  Happy is the youth who is able to grow from child to adult without stopping off at "teenage."

Teen years are the times in which we really need the Church programs, teachers, and leadership models. President Eyring said:

The Lord has placed a pattern of rescue and rescuers in His kingdom. In His wisdom the Lord has inspired His servants to place some of the most powerful ways to strengthen us and to put in place the best rescuers as we pass through the teenage years.

You know of two powerful programs provided by the Lord. One, for young women, is called Personal Progress. The other, for Aaronic Priesthood holders, is called Duty to God. We encourage young people in the rising generation to see their own potential to build great spiritual strength. And we plead with those who care about those young people to rise to what the Lord requires of us to help them. And since the future of the Church depends upon them, all of us care.

(Personally, I think we need one more program, this one to set some principles and standards and give our young adults some guidance through the courting years.)

 If we, or our youth, don't stick to the path, or if the leadership isn't there, or if the mists are too powerful, we will then need the rescuers.  Before we turn to them, or as we do, we might want to go back and start at the beginning with the things that should have been done in the Protected Years.

Let me illustrate this with a story.  A mother was concerned about a son who was struggling in jr. high and was thinking of taking him out.  I suggested she do nothing with him that felt like school, but read to him if he would let her and maybe raise the level of the tv viewing.  I asked if there was anything he liked to do with her.  She said he liked to garden.  It was early spring, so I suggested they make gardening their major activity.  A few weeks later she called to tell me that her son had developed his own lawn mowing business.  That courageous mom made a successful rescue by concentrating her effort on her bond with her son and on relationship activities.

President Eyring gave us a complete parenting curriculum in a paragraph that we memorize:

The best counsel for us to give young people is that they can arrive back to Heavenly Father only as they are guided and corrected by the Spirit of God. So if we are wise, we will encourage, praise, and exemplify everything which invites the companionship of the Holy Ghost. When they share with us what they are doing and feeling, we must ourselves have qualified for the Spirit. Then they will feel in our praise and our smiles the approval of God. And should we feel the need to give corrective counsel, they will feel our love and the love of God in it, not rebuke and rejection, which can permit Satan to lead them further away.

Then he ended with a promise:

I promise each of you, as you follow inspired direction in this, the true Church of Jesus Christ, that our youth and we who help and love them can be delivered safely to our home with Heavenly Father and the Savior to live in families and in joy forever.


To be clear, President Eyring spoke only of the parental opportunity and obligation to instill faith in the Protected Years, of the church programs that help our youth, and of the responsibility we all have to improve our behaviors and help in the rescue effort.  Everything else I've written here represents my own views.  My objective is to call attention to President Eyring's message and encourage it's application in your homeschool efforts.  God bless the families who are firmly planted on the path to Zion and to Home. - JK

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